It really has been quite some time since I last posted. Like three months to the day; odd. Within the last few months I didn't write, a lot of people told me they really enjoyed reading my blog. So thank you! I had no idea how many people actually read this thing. So, for now, I'm back and wish I could say better than ever as well, but then I'd be lying.
Where I left off...
December I got a internship for a start up company but quit because it didn't seem like it was going anywhere nor was it something I had interest in. Can't really say much of anything happened in December, actually. I was still feeling a lot of emotion from a relationship that had ended in November. I was a hermit, let's just go with that.
January... things picked up somewhat. I started putting myself out there more. Went and visited friends I hadn't seen in a while and was starting to feel a little less like a depressed recluse. However, still would say I had lots of thoughts and hurt feelings over the ending of my relationship. (That kind of stuff hits hard and I'm just saying what everyone is thinking when they're going through it.) But anyway, landed myself a job at a surf shop in town towards the end of January and started working there. I'd like to think I was getting back on my feet, and maybe in some ways I was. I finally was working at a job that could offer me some stability and that I enjoyed. I completely forgot to mention that I thought it would be fun to go back to school, that lasted all of four weeks. So working and coaching is what I decided to stick with and it keeps me busy enough.
February was... interesting. I found someone I really liked and had fun with. He understood me on a lot of different levels but it still felt too soon to jump into something serious when I had just gotten out of something serious so I was on the fence a lot which ended.
And that brings us to March. I'm not going to sit here and talk about my struggles working for a male dominated corporation or how lost I feel at this point in my life(I'll save that for another time because I'm sure you are all so eager to know) but rather some lessons I've learned thus far into 2014.
First off, not everyone is put in your life and is meant to stay there forever. People come and they go... and then sometimes come back again, just to leave... again. The point I'm getting at here is that the people that are in your life right now, serve a purpose and are meant to be there. I couldn't specifically tell you what that purpose is but I think the more time that passes the easier it is to see why those people were there in the first place. (If this doesn't make sense, feel free to drop a comment down below telling me I'm crazy. Always appreciate the feedback.)
Second, there is a difference between making a mistake and a decision. I'd like to think the only difference is that a decision requires thought and a mistake doesn't(you know, like "I made a mistake, I wasn't thinking!) but I think some people would have a really good counterargument for that, so I'm just going to remind them and say this is simply my opinion. I've made some pretty terrible decisions and mistakes lately, and I apologize for all of them to the respective people that were affected. There's no excuse for them really, and to be honest there is absolutely nothing I could even say that would make it okay. All I can really say, is that I'm not really proud of the person I've been lately and while I wish I could be a beacon of optimism and say how grateful I am for these valuable "learning experiences" as my dad would call them, I'm not grateful at all. I hate that the only way we can grow as individuals is through a series of mistakes, trial and error and sometimes, small victories. But most of the time, through mistakes and trial and error, that tends to result in someone getting hurt. Wouldn't it just be easier if we born with the all these "learning experiences" under our belt? Maybe. But I suppose these experiences make life interesting. Interesting can be so overrated sometimes, am I wrong...
So before this gets to lengthy and I lose everyone's interest all together here's a little apology: I am sorry to the ones I have wronged whether by mistake or decision and I am sorry for the future mistakes and decisions I will inevitably make in the future because I am human. I can only hope that when someone wrongs, hurts and disappoints me, I can look down on them with more compassion than anger.
A little food for thought there. Let it marinate for a bit and hit me up with what that brings up for you.
Till next time,
And as always, a very concerned picture of my dog losing all his dignity in a rain slicker... Enjoy.